December 2011
1 post
Keep it between us.
You did it again, but I can’t do it again….
You have shown me that I am worth that much. I can sit here and be so angry with you, but I am just angry at myself for doing this to me one more time. Is time to let you go.
I hope he makes you happy because I am so sure you aren’t just friends with him.
After all I do love you, but that love will fade away and I will forget. I...
let go...
I am starting to believe you. I am starting to consider letting you go. I love you so much, but I don’t know how much longer I can do this….
God I miss you, but I know I am not first anymore. This is just hurting me more….
I love you
November 2011
10 posts
Scary....
This new thing I’m doing is scary. I can’t sit here and say that is just for you. It is also for me, because I know we both need this. This is also gonna figure out me. The problem about it is that I am so scared. I know deep inside that sex with someone else is not gonna satisfy me. Is not gonna make me happy. I hope it doesn’t get worse. I will only be able to take so much of...
.....
I wish last Thursday came back around….
the funny thing....
about everything that has happened is that it is all your fault, and I am the one begging to get back with you. Whatever happens tomorrow I promise myself I will not beg for your love again. Go have fun in Chicago, but when you come back, my arms won’t be opened up for you any longer.
motivation
I am trying to get some motivation, but the only thing I want to be doing is laying right next to you. There is nothing else I want to do, not a thing…. I want to be in our home, cleaning at least. I want to know that you are coming home to see me.
Us Against The World...
Yesterday hurt a lot….
While I sit here you are doing what you want, what makes you happy…
I think it is my fault that I feel this way… Maybe I do need to get out, but I just don’t want to. I just don’t feel like I can….
Last night I went to dinner with my sisters ex-boyfriend… He invited me to dinner with some friends, and he has a partner, and his...
so....
I am scared shitless right now. I know having sex will not make things better, and I hope things just go great from here on. I don’t want to fuck things up, whatever I hear or see… I am just gonna have to let you figure yourself out. I am going to try to give you space, and I hope that is a good thing. I just hope that when Wed. comes you can actually go to counseling with me.
I...
Let me Down
When you said you were so stressed out and were going to the gym, and that you would call me later… that hurt. You go to they gym to workout/look at guys/ and go to the steam room. Wow…. why am i so stupid?
What am i gonna tell you? What do I have to tell you?
Everything i want to say to you would only hurt you so you would probably hang up. Everything I wanna ask you, you...
....
“I don’t miss him, I miss who I thought he was.”
I sit here just thinking and thinking and I can’t keep doing this to myself. I feel out of place, I am not at home, because home is with you and Stitch. The only problem is that if I went back, there would still only be me and Stitch and some Brian that I don’t know.
When i texted you this morning I wanted you so bad,...
This is the first one...
Dear Brian,
There are so many things I would like to tell you but I know I can’t. There are so many things I want to get out of my system, and you are the only person I want to tell them to. You are the only person I feel so close to, the only person I love. You are the person that I have been the closest too. Even with my family I am lost, even when people tell me that is going to be...