Cry

You have no idea how much it hurts when people ask me where u are…. Where my other half is. I wish u would knew how much it hurts not to have you by my side. I feel so empty and alone…. Faking a smile is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. But what do I do? Sit home and keep crying waiting for u to come save me? I can’t anymore. I have to look for strength somewhere. I feel like I don’t have real friends either. They don’t get my pain… No one does. I thought u would… But instead ur running away. I miss u

Wish u had a bit of a clue how much I really wish I could die. This morning just makes me get that same feeling again. Stronger and stronger….

even though i know you aren’t reading this and you wouldn’t even understand or care….

Pues yo te di una aurora para compartir, Una estrella para pedir un deseo para ti, No había nada que yo te negara. Y a ti, te dio por hacerme pedazos, Por ensuciarme el futuro el pasado, Por contaminarme del cielo hasta el suelo Corrompiendo el aire hasta hacerlo veneno.

hotel paper

Lately I can’t be happy for no one
They think I need some time to myself
I try to smile but I can’t remember
And I know tomorrow there’ll be nothing else

I had two fucking nightmares about u.., about u lying to me, hurting me even more, and not giving a shit about how I feel. I can’t get rid of you… I can’t get I out of my head. I bet u are still as happy as ever. Why did I wake up today? What’s the point of this? What’s the point of living anymore if I have nothing left. No hope

I’m so empty inside. I wish I could die. I can’t tell anyone how I feel because I’m embarrassed. Because I should be fighting… But I have nothing to fight for.

I dont want to live another day.

….

I remember you telling me so many times how hard it was for you to sleep when I wasn’t there. How when you use to wake up to go pee, you couldn’t fall back asleep right away. I specially remember how you use to tell me how our bodies fit just right holding each other… was it all a lie? I am still so lost. so empty. once again I have this feeling of not wanting to go on. somehow I have to get through this because loving you is not worth it. If you don’t love me like you use to anymore… or if you ever really loved me…

nothing left

bitter pill

“This Bitter Pill”

I never thought that I could see you as a stranger, as someone that I didn’t know. I want to rip every single memory of you out my head so I can live happy again. I would have rather been shipped back to Mexico and hate you forever. Why did I ever call you from Jail… why? So I could get hurt even more. You aren’t worth it… not one bit. you rather fuck a stranger. YOu disgust me… you fucking disgust me.